What Makes A Family?

WHAT MAKES A FAMILY? MONDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2011 What determines a family: Is it the traditional one-man/one- woman for a lifetime, like many Christian believers agree on, or will it go to same-sex couples too? Who determines who has the right to be in love? Is not legalizing same-sex marriage unconstitutional? It seems that more and more people are willing to accept same-sex marriage even more so than interracial marriage years ago. And if the court system passes the law to legalize same-sex marriage, over half of Americans will more than likely accept same-sex marriage. Already, same-sex couples are rushing to states, like California, to legalize their union and be able to be a true couple (Powell). Like heterosexual partners, gay couples can be in a loyal, monogamus relationship and be devoted to a partner. They can also be involved in a family life as well as being committed to making their neighborhoods and communities safe places to live and still abide by the law. They can also serve on school boards, volunteer in community charities as well as be good citizens. They can make their own lives better just as much as heterosexuals (Bidstrup). There are some that consider homosexuality is nothing more than mere perversion. But homosexual sex can be about more than sex; it can be about love and affection, too. For homosexuals, they too, can express themselves just like their heterosexual counterparts. It is much more than a relationship, it is part of a person's identity. It's like being black in a society of whites, or being a blond European in a nation of black-haired Asians (Bidstrup). Here are some arguments against gay marriage: Marriage is an institution between a man and a woman.This is the most argued point. But who really has the right to determine what makes a marriage. That would be like a banker deciding who has the right to store his money in his vault (Bidstrup). Marriage is for procreation. If that is the case, then why are infertile couples allowed to marry? That would be like telling your aging parents, who obviously cannot procreate, that they do not have right to marry (Bidstrup). Homosexuality is not the right environment to raise children. If that is true, then why are murderers, convicted felons, and even child molesters allowed to marry and raise children? If homosexuals cannot raise children, then something should be done about murderers, convicted felons, and child molesters (Bidstrup). The truth is there are many gay people and couples who are just as capable of taking care and loving children just as much as heterosexual people and couples. Many children raised in a homosexual environment do just as well as children raised in a heterosexual one. Love from the parents, not their gender, is what makes happy children (Bidstrup). Gay relationships are immoral and violate the sacred institution of marriage. Some say that freedom of religion, including The Bible, has no right to infringe, nor impose, upon the rules because The Bible says so. There are some religions that don't have a problem with homosexuality, like Buddhism, would like the authority to legalize gay marriage (Bidstrup). Marriage ensures the continuation of the species. In an overpopulated world, many would find this argument preposterous. To some, this would be a desireable reason to let gays marry than to bring more people into the world and try to find ways to feed more hungry mouths. In the end, marriage is more about love and commitment, than it is about procreation (Bidstrup). Same-sex marriage threatens the institution of marriage. Over half of all heterosexual marriages already end in divorce, so if gays have a choice in deciding who they are allowed to marry, like heterosexuals, then that seems like that would lighten up the load in divorce courts (Bidstrup). We shouldn't alter heterosexual marriage, which goes back to the beginning of time. What tradition? Even slavery was an institution back in the 18th and 19th century, and they eventually abolished that (Bidstrup). And just because gays are allowed to marry doesn't mean that heterosexuals will no longer be allowed to. Regarding the issue of divorce, why are we so freely allowed to divorce? We have people entering into marriages because of pregnancies, marriages based upon a business agreement, even those who marry illegal aliens in order for them to stay in this country. In these circumstances, they certainly do not look like it follows any kind of tradition (Bidstrup). But there are some that say legalizing same-sex marriage will hurt the traditional family. According to many Christian believers, legalizing same-sex marriage will degrade what marriage was meant for: a union between one man and one woman. Many say that children will be irrevocably harmed if gay couples are allowed to be viewed as a family unit. And here are some reasons that oppose gay marriage: Not comfortable with the idea. For thousands of years, it has been the majority that gay marriage is ludicrous, but if other minorities have been given their civil rights, like women were given the right to vote, then homosexuals should also be protected under those same civil rights (Bidstrup). It offends everything religion stands for. There are some religions that do not oppose gay marriage, like Buddhism. In fact, they invite gay couples to have the freedom to marry (Bidstrup). Marriage is a sacred institution and gay marriage violates that institution. This is based on the assumption that the state has the responsibility to sanctify marriages, which is a religious idea. By doing this, we are undermining the Bill of Rights and what the First Amendment stands for--that one does not have freedom of religion if one does not have the right to freedom of religion as well (Bidstrup). Gay sex is unnatural. This fact applies to about 1500 animal species which have been studied and homosexual behavior has been found in about 450 species of animals. It ranges from occasional displays of affection to a life-long pair bonding that includes sex and raising orphans, even going so far as to reject heterosexual partners (Bidstrup). A man laying with another man rejects everything masculine. There are stories of male celebrities who have proven to be very masculine, and yet come out to the public as being gay (Bidstrup). Thought of gay sex is repulsive. To some gay couples, the thought of heterosexual sex can be just as repulsive. Are those any any reasons not to allow gays to marry (Bidstrup)? They might recruit. This comes from the fear that the homophobe might be gay himself when exposed to a gay person that might hit on them. Gay people don't recruit any more than heterosexuals do (Bidstrup). If homosexuals are given the right to marry, it would not disrupt the family tradition. One reason is there are so many types of families today. There are blended families where a man and woman enter into marriage who already have children from a previous marriage or relationship. There are families where there is just a single parent, whether the head is the mother or the father. So what would be so different if the household had two fathers or two mothers due a gay marriage? It seems nowdays, we have so many different kinds of families. So what does make a family? It no longer seems to be the traditional one-man/one-woman with children anymore. As long as there is love in the home and respect for one another, that is what makes a family. Resources A personal essay in hypertext by Scott Bidstrup; Gay Marriage: The Arguments and the Motives ++Marriage and the court of public opinion Brian Powell. Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles, Calif.: Dec 5, 2010. pg. A.37